Five Tips for a Southern Belle’s Happy Marriage
Posted by Donna Arp Weitzman • November 10, 2015
Southern Belles have a few unique challenges when it comes to a happy marriage. Here are some tried and true guidelines:
- Eat fried foods without gaining an ounce.
- Be highly skilled at batting your eyelashes (fake is okay) and purring with a Southern drawl when you want him to buy you a bobble or you need forgiveness for buying your own bobble with His money.
- Always refer to his ” mother”and “daddy” in the sweetest terms. Never refer to them as his “mom and dad,” or God forbid, his “father.” These terms are for Northerners or those headed for divorce.
- If you don’t want sex, never say it. Just feign a nasty bug. Headaches are old fashioned for modern Southern belles and no longer work. Too cliche! An oncoming early bout of the flu will quell his rowdiness.
- Cooking is a must even if its one dish. Belles know the way to a Southern gentleman’s heart is his stomach. All other dishes can be purchased pre-oven ready.
Yes, these guidelines may seem a bit old -fashioned and insincere, but upon questioning a bevy of Belles, these tips were often suggested when your compass is pointing to the South.