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Five Tips for a Southern Belle’s Happy Marriage

Posted by Donna Arp Weitzman • November 10, 2015

Southern Belles have a few unique challenges when it comes to a happy marriage. Here are some tried and true guidelines:

  1. Eat fried foods without gaining an ounce.
  2. Be highly skilled at batting your eyelashes (fake is okay) and purring with a Southern drawl when you want him to buy you a bobble or you need forgiveness for buying your own bobble with His money.
  3. Always refer to his ” mother”and “daddy” in the sweetest terms. Never refer to them as his “mom and dad,” or God forbid, his “father.” These terms are for Northerners or those headed for divorce.
  4. If you don’t want sex, never say it. Just feign a nasty bug. Headaches are old fashioned for modern Southern belles and no longer work. Too cliche! An oncoming early bout of the flu will quell his rowdiness.
  5. Cooking is a must even if its one dish. Belles know the way to a Southern gentleman’s heart is his stomach. All other dishes can be purchased pre-oven ready.

Yes, these guidelines may seem a bit old -fashioned and insincere, but upon questioning a bevy of Belles, these tips were often suggested when your compass is pointing to the South.


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