What Difference Does It Make?

Posted by Donna Arp Weitzman • November 17, 2015

In my early 20’s Dr. Darling , my college professor, chastised me saying,” Donna, you’re just mentally lazy.”  How that hurt my feelings! Surely I could fool him too. I’d gotten by most of my life without too much mental effort.

He also told me, “take care of your mind by using it.”  As a co-ed, I thought he was quite the jerk.  

So with a bit of resentment and a lot of chutzpah, I graduated and proceeded in life with gusto.  Boldly stepping outside the box often, I occasionally suffered “not fitting the mold.”

Years of reaching for my “strength core” and often finding self-doubt, I struggled with “why am I not pleasing everyone;” never doubting  others, just me.

Only within the last few years have I settled with myself; now thinking I AM a good person.  I’m as good as anyone else and everyone else.  This has afforded me inner peace; the best gift ever received.

Decades have passed and many places have been home since Dr. Darling’s declaration. He would now be pleased that I’ve chosen to stretch my mind and accept my own gift, natural curiosity.  I can’t get enough information now that I accepted my “adulthood” status.  My head spins with all the things I want to know. Laziness and lethargy have left me.  A limited time lurks in my mind.

It’s taken years to determine what I really value, and “passing it on” seems filled with hubris.  But here’s what I hope for others and for me:

  1. Continuously create energy by bringing “stuff” you enjoy into your life. Enjoyment is contagious and healthy.
  2. Share yourself with others by being considerate and inclusive.  Big tents hold a lot of people and big ships are hard to sink.
  3. Discover your core values and defend them without apology.
  4. Decide what works morally for you; thus eliminating the need to reconsider every moral dilemma.
  5. Treasure your mind and protect your body. They are your most precious assets.

These are some of the bits of wisdom that life has revealed to me.  I only wish I’d discovered them earlier, but my psyche wasn’t ready. How did Dr. Darling know I was for years just mentally lazy!

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