Dating Scams: They Love Me, They Love Me Not

Posted by Andrew • March 12, 2018

“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”

– George Sand

To Love and Be Loved

It’s true. We all long to love and be loved. From birth to death, this is a basic need. However, today’s world has drastically complicated the search for love. Online dating has become commonplace with 49% of dates (regardless of age) now arranged through dating apps. What was often seen as taboo 10 years ago is now wholly accepted and embraced. However, as with all things positive comes the downside.  

Dating Scams Are Detrimental

Dating scams are growing everyday, and many of us who are looking for love are susceptible to being scammed. 15,000 complaints of online dating scams were reported to the FBI in 2015–this number was up in 2016 by 2,500 more. Nearly $230 million was stolen primarily from women searching for love, with $15 million in Texas alone.

Recognize a Scammer

  1. The scammer will try to establish a relationship quickly. RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH in this situation. Look into his/her background and photo online before caving in to their compliments. Sometimes, there will be duplicates of these profiles or even blank profiles that may lead to suspicion. Trust your gut.
  2. The scammer quickly endears him/herself by flattery. You must know that “too perfect” is NEVER perfect.
  3. They try to gain your trust. Ask questions in different ways to catch them lying. Always pay close attention to detail.
  4. They want you all to themselves, isolating you from family and friends. This isn’t just a short term thing. Scammers are in for the long-con. Don’t let them isolate you; trust your friends and family enough to view their messages and give you honest opinions.
  5. The scammer will never visit you in person, and yet has a problem that only your money can fix. NEVER send money. Tell the person no, and see if they stick around. They won’t. They’ll leave because they have nothing to gain at that point.

Lessons in Finding Love

If this almost happens or has happened to you, take it as a lesson and learn from it. Finding love is vulnerable is so many ways (especially like this). Even finding love and going through a hard break up can feel like you were scammed in a whole other way. Just know that it all involves risk. Simply keep your eyes open, stay cautious, and trust your gut–and your heart.

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