How to Work With and Love the Same Person

Posted by Andrew • January 16, 2018


Unfortunately, the world isn’t full of Jim Halperts and Pam Beeslys (The Office). Meaning, the world isn’t full of the healthiest office romances. Sometimes, it gets messy. Maybe the relationship itself is healthy, but being around them every minute of the day isn’t. Regardless, you can’t help who you love. So, how do you deal with working with someone you are romantically involved with?

Approach it cautiously from the start.

I’m not trying to be pessimistic; work romances are nice, but the odds are against their survival. So, if you must, take it slow and ease into it. Be aware of red flags and how your work life might transform as you get more serious. Most importantly, in this situation, where it’s almost inevitable that it may not work out, guard your heart.

Be forthright. Don’t hide it.

If you’re dating or romantically involved with a person at work, don’t try to hide it. Your coworkers will figure this out, and they will not respect either of your clandestine behavior. It also may be against the office policy, so read the employee handbook ASAP.

Be modest. Don’t parade it.

I know this seems to contradict the last one, but there is a healthy in-between. Try not to parade the relationship around the office. This can be uncomfortable for everyone. Treat each other with respect at work. No kissing, intimate touching, or displays of affection. Keep it strictly professional at work. Trust me, this may even help for spicing things up after work.

Keep your drama private.

Don’t drag everyone else into your personal relationship drama. In other words, never let your romantic spats affect your work or those around you–no one wants to take sides in this minefield. You are there for one thing: to do your job. It just so happens that your romantic partner is also there.

Proceed with caution.

There are times when instances of love have blossomed and succeeded with a coworker, but just as often, the results have been disastrous. As you continue getting to know one another in this way and in this situation, be aware that things ending badly romantically can also lead to things ending badly professionally. Perhaps one or both of you losing your job, or simply losing each other in the fray. Be mindful and approach this maturely–not as a fling.

My overall advice to all of you in office romances/relationships is to be professional, respectful, and cautious. In that case, the odds just might be in your favor.

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